Inspirational Hour

I tuned in a little late tonight and I missed Michael Johns and will have to base my impressions on the recap.

So, apparently the theme was inspirational songs. Lah Dee Dah. You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see a week where the theme is "You can do anything as long as it's got a tempo of 100 or better", or "Anything but a ballad" night. That's what I'd like to see on American Idol. The theme where the judges pick the songs should happen in the middle of the season, not at the end. Other themes I'd like to see? How about "Ray Stevens night", or "Weird Al Yankovic night", or "Heavy Metal night", or even "Ska-Reggae night"? It'll never happen, but I hope you enjoyed your peek into my imaginary world inside my head.

What I did like tonight was the expanded band, with orchestra and choir. Finally, we got the big sound that we've been wanting all season. The trick to performing with such a big ensemble is that you must be aware that there is a huge wave of sound coming from the band, and the singer must ride that wave like a surfer - on top and slightly in front of it. Otherwise, you get swallowed up by the music.

Michael Johns - Aerosmith's "Dream On": Swallowed by the wave. His vocals rarely penetrated the background chords. I love this song, but I'd never pick it in a million years.

Syesha - Fantasia's "I Believe": For the most part, she surfs. Starts mellow, then projects as the band swells. Hits one awesome money note that unfortunately, was swallowed up. I think she took the microphone away from her mouth on that note.

Jason Castro - Bruddah Iz's "Somewhere Over The Rainbow": True story - My wife and I were listening to Sirius radio in my truck this weekend, and we heard this very version of this song on a channel called "Coffeehouse". Iz mixed this song with "What a Wonderful World" during his recording. I told Bernie jokingly, "I bet Jason Castro does this one sometime this season. I bet he plays the ukelele, too." You may all praise my psychic powers later. Jason does his usual job on this one, only there's real emotion behind it this time, and it makes a difference. A big assist on this one goes to the orchestra.

Kristy Lee Cook - Martina McBride's "Anyway": She's undeniably improving every week. Three straight weeks of good song choices and solid, if not difficult, vocals. She surfs, to my astonishment. She definitely gets the "most improved player" award this season.

David Cook - Our Lady Peace's "Innocent": You had to know this would happen - you restrict the guy, and he gets all creative and impresses the heck out of you, but if you give him freedom, he picks something obscure and unimpressive. I didn't like it, and the fault is all in the song choice - he surfs, he sings it well, he performs it well, he sells it. Only it just isn't a good song.

Carly Smithson - Queen's "Show Must Go On": Weird song choice. Minor key, depressing lyrics. Hardly inspirational. On top of that, doing a Freddie Mercury rock opera song is just not a good idea in a singing contest - to make it work, you have to hold notes and string phrases together with power. Carly seems to realize she made a mistake after the first verse, and she downshifts and starts attempting to cherry-pick places to sing riffs, cutting phrases short and pulling down the microphone. Awk-ward. Not good at all.

David Archuleta - Robbie Williams' "Angel": Sigh. Can we force this guy to sing something other than a ballad? Great song for the theme, great performance. I do have a problem with his enunciation, however. I couldn't pick out a single word of the lyrics other than the catchphrase.

Brooke White - Carole King's "You've Got A Friend": Simon sums it up - "It's like a relaxing walk in the park, isn't it?" This is pretty much what we've come to expect from Brooke. Good, Safe, Nice, maybe a bit boring. Nothing original here. She could have been lip-synching to the 45 record for all I know.

Top 3 Performances tonight: Castro, Archuleta, Kristy Lee Cook

Worst 3: I'd say Carly, Brooke, and David Cook were the worst of the performances.

Actual voting prediction: Well, we know no one's going home on "Idol Gives Back" week, right? Despite that, I think the bottom 3 in votes will be Brooke, Carly, and Syesha. If someone goes home, I'd say it's Carly, with Brooke having an outside shot at elimination.

Anger.....Rising....

After all the talk about being on a mission, getting it done, etc., only two players came to play tonight for UNC. And I include the coach in that assessment.

It looked to me like Kansas had watched UNC game films all week.

It looked to me like UNC had watched 27 Dresses on DVD all week.

Absolutely not ready to play. I'm disgusted.

Parton the Interruption

It's Dolly night in Idol-land. Simon hated everything as usual, yet continues to deny he hates country music. Dude, just admit it and move on.

The best?
Here's the top 4, in no particular order:

David Cook - "Little Sparrow". He did an original arrangement tonight, and it was on par with his retouch of covered versions on previous weeks. I'd say this one charts slightly ahead of "Hello" and behind last week's "Billie Jean". Tuesdays continue to be David Cook night for me. The stylists got everyone's hair this week, and David looks better than usual without the sheep-dog look.

Carly - A Celene-esque version of "Here You Come Again". Very clean, very emotional. No pitch problems and she nailed the money note and the little vocal turn at the end that is Dolly Parton's signature in her songs. Her outfit looked hideous, like a secondhand store attempt at a comic book superhero gone wrong. Black leather one-piece swimsuit with red stockings and boots.

Michael Johns - I didn't catch the name of the song, but he was actually living up to his billing tonight. Excellent vocals, he didn't miss a note, and he hit lots of money notes along the way. He seemed a bit more inspired than in previous weeks.

David Archuleta - While it was another sappy ballad as usual, it was extremely good. It's just a shame that he's such a one-trick pony.

Middle three:

Syesha - "I Will Always Love You". My worst-case scenario for her was picking this song and trying to do it like Whitney, showing that she's learned nothing this season. I give her 1/2 credit, as she did the first half Dolly-style and then shifted gears to hit the last chorus (with a modulation to a higher key) with the Whitney-style cannon-blast. She did it well, but instead of being brave or original, she copied both styles that this song has been recorded in. I call that a cop-out.

Brooke White - "Jolene". Brooke performed this coffee-house style (as usual), and declined all the higher-difficulty jumps in the steeplechase. Result: Boring and safe, but good. She's got to break out of her rut or she'll be in the bottom three soon.

Kristy Lee Cook - "Coat of Many Colors". This is one of Dolly's sad but inspirational songs, and for once, Kristy hit it right on the money. Nothing original, but she sounded professional for the first time, and also looked good - the only performer other than Syesha to wear an evening dress, though she loses points for bare feet on my scorecard.

Worst of the lot:

Jason Castro - "Traveling Through". A bit more up-tempo than previous versions, but still a subway platform performance, albeit a good one. I think the voters' patience is running out with him.

Ramiele - "Do I Ever Cross Your Mind". Poor Ramiele lost her confidence when Danny Noriega was sent home, and just hasn't recovered. She failed to project through the band for 80% of her song tonight, and while she showed some improvement from previous weeks, she's just gotten too timid to continue on the show. Hopefully, whomever keeps dressing her in munchkin-wear with shoulder pads can go back to their day job once she goes home.

There's no doubt in my mind that Ramiele is going home. I predict Jason Castro and Syesha will join her in the bottom three. I also predict Dolly will have some words for Simon tomorrow night, since he pretty much trashed everyone tonight.

Final Four, baby!

The Tar Heels are headed to San Antonio to play in the Semi-finals!

The Birth Year Schtick Again

The idols had to do a song from their birth year, in what's gotten to be a common theme each season. I personally thought it was going to be disco night, so this caught me off guard.

David Cook ended the show and it's a good thing he went last because he stole the whole show. Using his power to change any song into a angst-ridden rock ballad, he took "Billie Jean", rode the razor edge of cheesiness vs. brilliance, with the band cranking out power chords all the way, and really put it into the classic category by ending the song with a low "remember to always think twice", which earns anti-teen-pregnancy-public-service-announcement brownie points. If Cook wins the prize at the end of the season, he'll have done it with his brain rather than his voice. I kinda like that.

Ramiele needed to hit a home run tonight, and she didn't. It turns out she was sick and lost her voice this week. She did an admirable job overcoming it but the accuracy on the notes wasn't there. I'd probably put her in the bottom three.

Kristy Lee dipped into the cheese pot tonight and pulled out Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the USA". I buried my face in my hands when they announced the song, but she actually did a nice job on it. For once, the key of the song wasn't too low for her. Will pandering to the redneck demographic earn her some votes? She's been saved by luck twice in a row.

Michael Johns' performance convinced me that the judges are shilling for him. Also dipping out a double handful of cheese, he did a medley of "We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions". It stank to high heaven. Between Michael's missed notes, non-attempted notes, microphone-jerked-away-before-it-could-sound-bad notes, and general cringiness of his fake stage presence, the band completely failed to fill in the spaces between the lyrics. The buildup and chorus of Champions should have huge descending chords behind the singer's voice, and it failed to happen. The backup singers were so weak, it was nearly like an unplugged version of the song. I still blame the sound engineers on the show for this junk. Of course, the judges gushed about how good this was, showing that they have some hidden agenda to advance this guy.

Brooke was OK, not great, doing an unplugged "Every Breath You Take" on piano. I pretty much agreed with the judges that the buildup at the bridge of the song should have left out the band. She could have done it herself by hitting big chords on the piano and it would have fit better.

Carly was also just OK, with "Total Eclipse of the Heart". She didn't have enough edge to her voice and overdid the big notes. Again, the band failed to build up the chorus enough to make it convincing.

Syesha was probably a top three performer tonight, continuing her string of improvement. Jason Castro did a Sting song I haven't heard before but it was very good, albeit safe. No change from him - he'll be eliminated from the voters becoming bored eventually. Chikeze was OK, not memorable, probably not enough to keep out of the bottom three, maybe boring enough to be eliminated.

Archuleta picked the most boring song I've ever heard, no one other than Simon had heard of it, and he didn't juice it up at all. His vocal wasn't great, either. I'd call it a bottom three performance. Of course, the teenage girl demographic is going to put him in first place again, so why does it matter?

My predicted bottom three: Chikeze, Carly, Kristy. Maybe Ramiele.
Eliminated: I can't call it. All four were better than Michael and David A., but not good enough to be safe. My (considerable) gut says Ramiele may be gone, but I wouldn't bet the farm on it.

David Cook might be able to wrest the trophy from David Archuleta eventually, but right now Archuleta looks like he'll get the votes no matter how bad he is. I bet Cook is #2 on dialidol this week, though.

Okay, This is Freaking Funny.

http://www.abyssandapex.com/200710-wikihistory.html

(points for the assist from kottke.org)

Out With Bleach

Kristy Lee got a reprieve. America decided this was the week to send Amanda home, surprisingly. What was also shocking was that Carly joined them in the bottom three, and was genuinely surprised when she was declared safe.

DialIdol.com had the bottom two correct, but was stunned by Carly's presence in the bottom three as well. They had Chikeze there instead. Of course, margin of error made everyone except David Archuleta fair game for elimination. Archuleta had a score twice as large as the #2 ranked singer.

Kristy will have one last chance to get it together next week. It's Disco night (shudder).

Update:
Have you noticed that none of the themes this season have been music that the contestants would actually have encountered in their lifetime? (Aside from the 80's theme, but they'd have all been under 10 years old.)

It's like they're trying to keep them from getting anything they can actually relate to. Celeb coaches this season? Mariah Carey, Dolly Parton, Andrew Lloyd Weber, and Neil Diamond. WTF? Mariah's been irrelevant for at least 10 years and WTF with the old geezers?

Beatles B-sides

I realized last week that I want my Idol posts to be less reprises of the show and more analysis. To that end, I present this week's thoughts.

Just like last season, Idol's producers have shown that they know nothing about music performance. Putting the band overhead and behind the stage looks great on TV, but it has disconnected the band from the singers and there's no rapport between them. The singers have monitor earphones - if they want them. Most of them didn't use them, which is just idiotic. If you can't hear yourself, you cant sing in tune unless you have perfect pitch - which is a rare talent. If you can't hear the band, how can you stay on-tempo? With the band spread apart like they are, you could be in-tempo with one instrument but off with one that's all the way across the stage. The sound levels are still terrible, just like last season.

Furthermore, the arranging is terrible this season. Just abysmal. The only good arrangements we've seen have come from those couple of singers who are capable of doing it themselves (cough-David Cook-cough). Kristy Lee's god-awful hoe-down last week and Ramiele's disjointed arrangement tonight were just unfair. This isn't supposed to be an arranging contest. Simon's been very critical of arrangements lately, and tonight he actually criticized the band a couple of times. I don't know who is responsible for arranging, but if it's Ricky Minor, he's doing a crappy job. I think they're giving the Idols vocal coaching but very little musical advice.

The decision to go with the Beatles catalog again as the theme was just moronic. I actually found a list of the songs in the catalog online and started scratching off the ones performed last week, the two from the group number last week, the ones sung by Ringo Starr, the novelty humor songs, the songs with lyrics like "I'm a Loser" that will get you eliminated, and the songs where the vocals are all harmony and no individual performances. There wasn't much left.

Finally, we're starting to get some separation between the contestants. I think we're seeing a couple of dark horses hitting their stride and a couple of contenders faltering. Between them, there are the ones who haven't found their groove yet but could still be a factor.

Best performances of the night:
1. David Cook (again). Another inspired rock arrangement of an old song ("Day Tripper"). This guy knows the keys he's capable of singing in, and pays great attention to detail. He's doing what Blake did last season: He's outthinking the competition and using his musical knowledge as a secret weapon. He's the only Idol that's fully in control of what he does on stage.

2. David Archuleta. Look, this is the winner of the competition. Last week he can't remember any of the words, and he's still the #1 vote-getter according to DialIdol.com. It's a popularity contest, and he wins. Game over. Tonight, he went back to the sappy ballad and did fine. He'll win, and have a nice Hannah Montana-like career until he grows up and gets into drugs and booze.

3. Syesha. I think this is the first time she's done a ballad ("Yesterday"). I liked the arrangement and the key she sung it in. This was a shift of gears and I think she pulled herself out of the bottom three vote-getters with it.

Personality rather than performance:
4. Brooke White. Went back to the same well as last week and it was dry this time. She's got to work on building up energy in a song and letting it peak at the end note. All we've seen from her is flat-line acoustical stuff, and it is becoming too predictable. She did her song well, but it didn't give her any momentum. Her shushing of the judges afterwards and self-admonishment won her some sympathy points, however.

5. Carly. Not a memorable song, but her commentary afterwards was excellent, slapping down Simon in a sweet but effective way.

6. Ramiele. Good song, good vocals, lousy arrangement. Her video and her reaction to the judgement were positives. She's got to get some momentum going or she'll be gone soon, as we haven't seen anything noteworthy for a few weeks in a row now.

7. Jason Castro. He's essentially singing the same song every week, and it's got to stop. He started the season as a "less is more" guy, and there's been less and less each week. He needs to support his notes, get some upbeat songs in his repertoire, and show us he can do more than coffee-shop vocals and make eyes at the audience.

Static:
8. Amanda. She is what she is and it ain't changing. I give her a couple more weeks, but she's essentially on her own show, she's so disconnected from the rest of the contestants.

Bottom three:
9. Chikeze. Tried to clone his performance from last week, but it didn't work nearly as well. I like his voice, but there's something essential missing from his act, and he hasn't found it yet.

10. Michael Johns. Wow. He had such promise (-according to the judges, that is- I haven't been able to stand him from day one). He missed a big note in a big way early in his song and never recovered. The arrangement stank, anyway. There's a commercial out there that does this song in a much better tempo and style.

11. Kristy Lee Cook. I'm afraid this is the end. She never stepped up her game or tried to go outside her tiny comfort zone. She also has consistently picked keys too low for her voice and failed to put any excitement or personality into her performances. When you demonstrate that you can't tell good from bad on this show, you're gone.

Prediction:
Kristy Lee is gone.

Consulting the Oracle:
David Archuleta is the next American Idol. David Cook wins the "Chris Daughtry" award and a real career. Brooke White makes it on the country charts.

Beatles Night

It would take me an hour to analyze tonight fully, so I won't. I'll hit the highlights:

Top Performers:
1. David Cook (twice in a row...he's on a roll)
2. Carly
3. Chikeze!!

Worst performances:
10. David Hernandez
11. David Archuleta (forgot lyrics and fell apart!)
12. Kristy Lee (did a hoe-down to "8 days a week"!)

Predicted loser: Either Hernandez or Kristy Lee

Update: DialIdol.com says it's Syesha going home. Could be.

3 out of 4 Correct

OK, I'm doing well this season. I didn't think Asia'h would go home, because she did a really good job on her song, but c'est la vie!

My wife simply hated Danny, but I kinda liked his style. Too bad.

OK, here's my rankings of the final 12, based on talent:
1. David A.
2. Carly
3. Ramiele
4. Syesha
5. Jason
6. David C.
7. Michael
8. Brooke
9. David H.
10. Kristy Lee
11. Amanda
12. Chikeze

This won't hold up, because of the young ones being inconsistent from week-to-week. Here are my rock-solid predictions:

First to go: Chikeze
Biggest underachiever: Michael
Most annoying that will stick around forever: Amanda
Contender who will go into a slump late in the season: Carly
Dark Horse: Ramiele
Most likely to melt down on stage during a performance: Ramiele
Non-winner who will have a better career than the winner: Brooke
Most likely to make it as an actor after their AI run: Jason
Most likely to be heard on the radio after AI: David Cook
Already guaranteed fame and fortune in another country: Ramiele

Simon Cowell is on Drugs

Anyone who saw Idol tonight and thinks the boys were better last night needs to get off the drugs. 7 out of 8 girls gave pro-level performances tonight, whereas the boys had maybe one do that well.

Sadly, the eighth was Kady Malloy, whose inability to hit notes on pitch in the low range was once again compounded by her choosing a song ("Who Wants To Live Forever") that used low range heavily. Three strikes and you're out, girl. She made the same mistake three weeks in a row.

Amongst the others, I honestly don't think anyone deserves to go home.

Asia'h sang "I Wanna Dance With Somebody", took her lumps from Simon for singing a Whitney song, and did a darn good job.

Carly sang "I Drove All Night" and showed what it means to have pro chops. Vocal projection, harmonization, perfect pitch control, etc. She really doesn't sound like someone with lots of tattoos.

Kristy Lee did a country-fied version of "Faithfully" by Journey, and tried to Christian it up, substituting "Lord" for "Girl". She sang the song pretty well, but not as strong as she could have (we learned from Paula's comments that she's been sick all week). Personally, I think it could have been improved by incorporating even more country elements.

Amanda toned it down this week and also picked a predictably more appropriate song ("I Hate Myself For Loving You"), which she did predicably well. The problem? Predictable! I think she's the least versatile of the remaining performers, and I'm bored with her.

Brooke sat on the edge of the stage and did an unplugged version of "Love is a Battlefield". It was a brilliant tactic, and it totally worked. Bonus points for cleverness.

Ramiele did a very nice strong version of "Against All Odds", and followed it up by scoring points with the audience by rebuffing Ryan's attempt to get personal by asking her what made that song her choice this week. The answer? "Just....STUFF!".

Then the show was closed down by Syesha. I heard the intro, realized she was about to sing "Saving All My Love For You", and braced myself for what the judges would say about choosing too big of a song, etc etc. Well, first of all, I don't think Whitney Houston's recorded version was any better than this live performance was. Syesha blew away the big notes and stayed sweet and low on the verses. She hit all the highs perfectly and powerfully. Unfortunately, the show was running out of time, and all we got was cursory "Good", "Good", "Predictable, but good" from the judges. I hate to say it, but that stinks. Voters are actually swayed somewhat by the judges comments (except for us egotistical music critics), and to rob her of the opportunity for Randy and Paula to gush and for Simon to grudgingly admit she was good could actually hurt her vote totals. This was the best performance of the night, however.

Best: Syesha, Brooke, Carly
Worst: Kady (by a mile)

Predicted elimination: Kady and, sadly, Kristy Lee.

We'll only have one blonde left, unless America shows some taste and eliminates Amanda instead.

Luke, It Is Your Destiny...

Luke Menard must go home this week. I missed his song the first time around, but on the reprise...oh my...that stank worse than his previous efforts. Wham. "Wake Me Up Before You Go-go". Falsetto. Plinky-plink keyboard backing. Can you say backyard karaoke? Thought so.

David Archuleta went for three slow, mournful songs in a row, and it failed to impress. There's no way in heck he's going home, even though this was the second-weakest effort of the night.

Then the gay bloc struck...
Danny Noriega with a remixed version of "Tainted Love". A for personality (CRINGE - seriously, this guy is becoming more of a gay stereotype every week), D for vocals. It was entertaining, however.

David Hernandez, recently revealed to be a gay stripper in Arizona, did a darn good performance of Celine Dion's "It's All Coming Back To Me Now". I have to wonder if his exposure on the news wire will cost him a lot of his fans. I think it will, and I wonder if they'll address that on the air if he gets voted out.

Michael Johns chose poorly, in my opinion (though the judges seemed to love it). "Don't You Forget About Me" isn't a stage-performance song, and it requires a booming low voice. Michael was very off-key on the lows, and he ended up taking most of the song up an octave, which didn't really work. I can't imagine that anyone would choose to stick with that song if it sounded like that during rehearsals.

Then came the wave of good stuff...
David Cook, who I admit I didn't like in the very beginning of the season, knocked out Lionel Ritchie's "Hello" by remixing it with a buzzy, chordy guitar...well, I'd describe it as a cross between Queen in Flash Gordon and Boston in Third Stage. Surprisingly good, and my favorite performance on the night.

Jason Castro did a song I don't think I've ever heard before "Hallelujah" from Leonard Cohen. I really liked it. Jason has mixed up his songs nicely so far in the competition, and I can't wait to see him go through the different genres they'll throw at him starting next week.

Then there was Chikeze. We had a burst of severe weather and it ionized my dish for a while, so I missed his song. It was "All the Woman I Need" from Luther Vandross. From the reprise, it wasn't too bad, although he's made a mortal enemy of Simon from his first two weeks of jabber during judging.

Based on performances tonight, I'd lay it out like this:
1. Cook
2. Castro
3. Hernandez
4. Archuleta
5. Johns
6. Chikeze
7. Noriega
8. Menard

Based on my guesses as how the voting goes:
Safe: Cook, Castro, Archuleta, Johns, Chikeze
In danger: Menard, Noriega, Hernandez

Predicted Elimination: Menard, Noriega

How To Make Saturday Last

When I got up this morning, I realized that we really made Saturday count.

We got up early, took my parents to the airport, went to SC for cheap gas, walked thru the flea market next to the gas station where we ate fresh fried-mini-donuts as we walked, then we went to Nothing But Noodles for lunch (just OK - the Pad Thai was waaaaay too sweet, and I'll order something else next time), came home and did some chores, watched State piss away the game against dook, tried to go to the Reuse center, which was closed, went to Lowes to get grass seed and weed killer/fertilizer, went to the grocery store, watched the end of the Carolina-BC game, made dinner, fiddled on the computer for an hour, watched TV, watched Star Trek - the Motion Picture on DVD (which will make any day seem 12 hours longer), and went to bed finally.

Today, it's nearly 10 am and I haven't even made breakfast yet. I suspect Sunday's gonna fly by to make up for it.

50% correct

Well, I called half of them right. Alaina and Alexandrea, Jason and Robbie. I had all 4 in my least favorite category, though.

Now I have to hear Luke for another week. Ick.

10 Girls

Hey, am I psychic or what? The day after I complain about never getting Chicago songs, I get one!

Does anyone besides me mix up Alaina and Kady? I can't keep them straight in my head.

Anyhow....

The problem shared by all the girls last week was the flu. Tonight it was the key. I only think two girls chose the proper key to sing their song in. In most cases, it was too low. The vocal coaches are really falling down on the job on Idol so far this year.

Bottom of the pack was Amanda the rockin' nurse tonight. That may have been the worst performance not made by someone named Sanjaya. I don't think she actually got one single note right. I'm pretty sure that's the end for her, and it's too bad because I really wanted to hear her sing AC/DC and try to channel Brian Johnston's lead vocals. Oh well.

After her performance, there was a logjam for middle of the pack. Alaina or Kady might have put themselves in the most danger. Alaina, no, Kady did "Magic Man" in a horribly low key, such that she couldn't get out the verse so it could be heard. Kady, no, Alaina did "Hopelessly Devoted To You" and didn't do it badly, but she just has no personality on stage. When the judges criticize her, she gives them the "I hate you" stare and that's about it. I just don't think she's connecting with the audience.

Top honors goes to Carly - and I misjudged her during auditions. With a band backing her, she's pretty good. She did a Heart song as well, "Crazy on You", and hit it nicely.

Ramiele ("Don't Leave Me This Way") was terrific again, and Syesha ("Me and Mr(s) Jones") was the next strongest. Kristy Lee redeemed herself with a nice rendering of Linda Ronstadt's "You're No Good".

I have to say this yet again: Idol contestants should NEVER pick a song about going home, breaking up, letting it end, going down in a blaze of glory, or some other subject that would be truly ironic if they were eliminated and had to sing it as their farewell performance. "You're No Good" would be a terrible thing to have to sing after being voted off. I don't think Kristy Lee is in danger this week, but if she gets voted off, the gods of irony will have struck yet again on American Idol. You hear that, Phil Sawyer?

Brooke did a really good job with "You're So Vain", looking Simon in the eye the whole time. She used the original key, but it was a tone too low for her to sing the first words of the chorus properly. She's safe, though. I like her.

Alexandre'a totally messed up my perfectly good rant by singing "If You Leave Me Now" (another ironic song if eliminated) by Chicago. It occurred to me that Luke Menard should have sung this last night, as his falsetto fits Chicago perfectly. I think Alexandre'a is safe because her performance was adequate and better than some of the others, but I don't get the likable vibe from her. She will be vulnerable until she wins over some voters.

Asia'h took a risk and sang "All By Myself", which is a difficult one to pull off, and she did it while sick. She broke on the very first chorus, recovered, and did a darn good job for the rest of the song. Bonus points for ballsyness.

Strongest: Carly (way out front), Ramiele, Syesha
Weakest: Amanda, Alaina, Kady

Predicted losers: Amanda, Kady

Week 2 American Idol: The Guys

Tonight, the theme was the 70's, and we saw better song choices from just about everyone.

Before I get started, I have to air one of my pet peeves. Why hasn't anyone on AI in 8 seasons ever sung a Chicago song? I don't get it. We had two Blood Sweat and Tears songs last week, but never ever anything by Chicago.

Anyway, only one of the guys stunk up the joint tonight: Luke Menard. Two weeks and I hate him already. Any fool can stand up and sing falsetto off-key, and that's apparently his shtick. I hope he's gone on Thursday.

Nobody else stank. David Hernandez ("Papa Was A Rolling Stone") and Chikeze (some Donnie Hathaway song about remembering his name), who were my least favorites last week, were much better tonight and sounded stronger than just about any of the others. Jason Castro, who I really like because of the effortless way he performs, was in my top 3 with Hernandez and David Archuleta. Archuleta is way out front of the pack right now. David Cook was pretty strong as well, so that's 3 Davids in of my top 4 this week.

Danny Noriega (the gay kid) did a passable job with his song, but his personality may not win him any votes. Robbie Carrico did a very bland, slow, and too low performance of Foreigner's "Hot Blooded" and could also be in danger. Jason Yeager did a pretty good "Without Love", but all three judges panned him for the second straight week and that could doom him.

My least favorites this week: Menard and Carrico. I predict Menard and Yeager go home on Thursday.

How To Cook A Steak

First, get two really nice steaks.


Lightly coat with olive or canola oil, sprinkle with kosher salt and grind on coarse black pepper.

Toss on a HOT grill for 3 minutes per side.

Also coat some thick slices of yellow squash and sweet potato with olive oil, sprinkle kosher salt, and throw on the grill with the steaks.


If it looks so good you forget to take the picture, just take the picture after you've cut half of one of the steaks for your wife.


Perfect pink on the inside!


This is what it looks like when it's done.

It's Curtains for You, Lefty!

The new curtains are complete, sans tie-backs.

Fabric chosen by Bernie, bought and hauled all the way from Malaysia.
Sewing by Jason's Mom.
Valances built, upholstered and installed by Jason.

You can see the framed print in between the windows no longer goes with the curtains. We'll have to replace it with something more appropriate. We have a Chinese lyre and an Indian horn (lying on the desk) to put on the wall as decorations, as well. Mom has a bedskirt from the same material on the way to us.

Results

I nailed it! The two girls I singled out were the ones sent home. I didn't actually predict for the guys, so I'm claiming a perfect score. I didn't want to see Garrett sent home so early, though. I thought he had some potential. I'm willing to forgive a weak performance in a 17 year old more than I am in an older performer.

It's too early to see trends, though. The first week is just there to survive and get your feet wet. Reset all expectations for next week.

Analyzing the Ladies

I only got to watch the second half of Idol last night, due to basketball awesomeness (I had to watch this one, since I'd ditched the last two games). However, I did DVR it and scanned the first 5 singers after watching the last 7 live.

Favorites:
Syesha - I can't make up my mind if I like her or not, but there's no denying she's good.
Ramilie - My favorite. Two completely different personalities depending on if she's singing or not.
Carly - I wasn't impressed with her until this performance. The band makes a difference.

Going home:
Amy - Oh my God, that was bad.
JoAnne - Not bad, but very weak, and she's playing the fat card too much.

As usual, I'll change my mind week to week. Overall, I was disappointed in the ladies, as I thought they'd be better than the guys based on auditions. Once we weed out the weak ones, I think we'll have a better 6 females than guys, though.

We'll see later on - elimination is tonight.

First Idol Post of 2008

Bernie and I watched American Idol last night to see the 12 guys sing. There's too many of these people to run down strengths and weaknesses individually, however, I will say that all twelve of these guys are better than any of the guys from last season's finals. Including Blake.

Nobody earned less than 7 out of 10 on my (fictional) scorecard last night, whereas I don't think I would have given that many points to more than a couple of male performances during last season.

I think the Hernandez guy (first performer of the evening) and Chikeze (Jacuzzi, according to Simon) were the worst of the lot, with the falsetto dude Menard close behind. The best was David Archuleta, who if they don't let him giggle like a retarded child on camera too much (like they did last night) might have a chance to win this season. The guy with the dreadlocks wasn't bad either. The Australian guy irritates me for some reason, and he's a quarter pitch flat most of the time. I actually liked the gay kid and the Ellen Degeneres look-alike kid, though Simon hated them.

From what I've seen of the ladies this season, the female contingent will overwhelm the guys once we go head-to-head in 3 weeks. If the guys are better this year, the girls look to be stellar.

Judge-wise, Simon was the worst he's ever been on last night's show. He's definitely scripting his insults before the show airs, and he isn't a good enough actor to hide it. It really doesn't make sense to blather on and on about being "relevant" and "modern" if the theme is 60's night. The contest is for singing, not for arranging (if it was, I'd enter and win). The judge comments were the least interesting aspect of the show last night, which is a switch. I'm beginning to think that Randy actually is the best judge of talent on the panel these days, even if 90% of what he says is indecipherable.

One day, they'll let the vocal coaches from Idol get on camera and tell us what they think. That will be interesting to hear. Probably the only intelligent commenting we'll ever hear from this show.

End of an Era

In earth-shattering news, the saga of the twisted column has come to an end. The builder finally sent two guys to replace it. The epilogue will be when they come to paint it and my railings.

No other news to report, other than I'm probably going to get sick soon. The evidence is that my face is breaking out - a sure sign that my immune system is in overdrive fighting something.

Prolonging My Life

I've given up watching UNC basketball games for the most part. Not because I don't care - it's because I'll die of a heart attack if I have to endure the adrenaline rush 3 times a week until March.

Two, count-em, TWO overtimes tonight. Down by 16 in the second half, and UNC wins anyway. I can tell you this because I read it online. I didn't watch, and boy am I glad I didn't.

A Scare and a Frightening Realization

Bernie and I decided to go over to Mom and Dad's house this afternoon. Aunt Pat was visiting, and Mom was planning on having the whole family over for dinner, but we decided to go early since we were out already.

After about an hour, Mom and Bernie decided to go grocery shopping. That left Dad, me, and Aunt Pat watching TV. Dad had taken a misstep on the bottom stair this morning and twisted his ankle, so he had been taking it easy on the sofa. He decided to get up, and his knee decided not to hold him up and he took a fall, whacking his forehead on the sharp edge of the chest-of-drawers.

Blood was everywhere. I ran and got him a wad of damp paper towels, then found an icepack and an old cloth to put pressure on the injuries. To Dad's credit, he didn't pass out. He had three deep cuts - two on his forehead and one on the bridge of his nose. I called mom's cell phone and told her to come home quick.

When she got home, it was decided that we were going to the Emergency Room and Bernie and Aunt Pat would stay home. Dinner was canceled.

After about 6 hours in the ER, Dad got his wounds dressed. No stitches. He had a gouge-type wound that had no edges to pull together, and two flap-type lacerations with edges that wouldn't hold a stitch or dermabond, so they used steri-stips to tape the two lacerations shut and put ointment and a bandage on the gouge. No concussion or other trauma to the head. When they heard of Dad's history and his neck surgery in 2005, they took a CAT-scan of his head to make sure there wasn't any damage.

We got him back home around 8:30.

My Dad has a history of accidents, and since his surgery, he's been predictably getting a bit weaker and clumsier, and has had a number of falls. I find myself getting irrationally angry whenever this happens ("How can you not be more careful, knowing your condition?" etc., etc.). Feeling that way isn't fair, but I guess this is my way of trying to deny that my parents are getting older and not being able to face the fact that they won't be taking care of me forever, and instead they will need me to take care of them in the future.

That's a hard truth to face, because my Dad has always been there to catch me if I mess up. Even if I don't always need that backstop (and there have been times when I've even resented it), I've gotten used to him being there for me. One day, hopefully a long time away, I'll have to go on without him, but that is too frightening to think about. I'm not looking forward to outliving my parents. I have been lucky - my parents love me and my sister, love my wife, love each other, and have been stable, healthy, and supportive for my whole life. When they are gone, I really don't know how I'll cope.

Anyway, Bernie ended up unloading the groceries by herself, and kept Aunt Pat company all afternoon and half the evening - all while worried to death for my Dad. At least I chose the perfect woman to spend the rest of my life with. Both me and my parents agree on that.

Welcome To The Doldrums

The cat is off getting his radiation treatment. He's doing fine, and we'll get him back tomorrow.

Brendan and Alexis dropped in on Sunday and we took them to the sushi buffet and had a nice time. They didn't bring little Garrett, but we keep up with him on his blog.

Watching the Super Bowl was a lot of fun, but you all pretty much know about that.

Work is still good. Most fun job I've ever had, although that is damning it with faint praise.

I'm still fat. I'm beginning to think about Lap-Band surgery. I don't want to be obese when I turn 40 in 2009.

I'm way overdue for an adventure. I don't have any vacation days left, though. We don't get new vacation until May each year. Even when I get some, I'm inclined to save it so I can carry some over to use after May 2009.

Welcome to the February blahs. Happens every year!

New Food

We've had a couple of nice revelations in food news here in our little town this week.

Firstly, the giant asian food market in Cary that we drive 3 hours to visit a few times a year is opening a new branch - here in Stallings! In fact, it'll be less than a half-mile up the road! This is a really nice, clean store the same size as a large grocery store, with a bakery (char siew buns all the time!) and even a small restaurant inside. Since we'll be regulars, we will have to ask them to carry a couple of the things that Bernie misses from Malaysia. Hopefully, this news will stimulate us to take walks in the evening, where we can be rewarded with something from the bakery!

Secondly, we got a flyer in the mail about a new restaurant called Dillas, which is a quesadilla place that delivers like a pizza place. We tried it last night and I'm sold. Mom was over visiting, so we ordered a 2-person quesadilla (a 14 inch tortilla folded in half) with spinach, chicken, mushrooms, tomatoes, etc. for them, and I (hating mushrooms) got a personal size one with steak, beans, onions and rice. Wow - it was very good and stayed crunchy during the delivery time. Probably much healthier than pizza, too. An interesting option is that they actually have one with pizza ingredients as well. Very cool, and we'll be doing this again sometime soon.

Now for something completely different. Three things Bernie told me she'd never do, caught on film:

knitting - and sitting with the cat on her lap (that's two in one):


And ironing:

We Won't Get Fooled Again

With apologies to the Who.

Local meteorologists: Be warned. At no point this weekend did you even speak of the possibility that we would get no accumulation at all - until the snow and rain ended. In fact, when the rain, sleet and snow had not even started until three hours later than your prediction, instead of backing off, you reported that the predicted accumulation would in fact be more than you originally stated. In poker, this is known as a bluff. I canceled a road trip that I had been looking forward to for a long time based on your fear-mongering, and now we all feel stupid. You've abused the public trust yet again, and we won't be trusting you any longer.

I've been really lazy today and accomplished very little. At least I'll be well-rested for work on Monday.

Tuesday update: They did it again! Predicted gloom and doom ice storm for this morning, that is. Guess what? Nothing fell. It's not even that cold.

Cloverfield

I dragged Bernie out to see Cloverfield yesterday after work.

I loved it. With the self-imposed limitation of using a handheld camera and first-person perspective, I don't think it is possible to make a finer movie. It's not just a monster movie, it's more like really being there, and it also has a nice storyline that isn't connected to the monster.

This was a cross between a video game and a nightmare, and when the movie ended, I realized I'd been tensed up for an hour without relaxing. I never got the chance to get the popcorn that I'd been craving all day, either.

The only drawback is that Bernie hated the shaky-cam perspective. She says I owe her a chick-flick next time, and she won't buy my assertion that the love story in this movie counts.

Weekend Over Already!

Man, it went by so fast.

On Saturday, we began by going over to my parents' house and watching the UNC-MooU game. Very satisfying outcome, as UNC got a 30 point lead early and coasted for the rest of the game. The best thing about beating the wuffies is going to their message boards to watch them whine about the refs. Every time. Seriously. NC State has never lost a single game to UNC according to their fans. It's always been the referee favoring the Tar Heels. Even when they are beaten by 31 points, the ref caused the 30 point lead and the State players "quit because they could tell the fix was in". Then is the inevitable whine about how UNC "left the starters in" after the game got out of hand. What a bunch of idiots.

We stayed in on Saturday night and watched a bunch of junk on TV.

Sunday morning at 4 am, the cat started throwing up again. Poor guy. Of course, then he has to be fed again, and won't let us sleep until that's taken care of. I ended up closing the bedroom door and of course the cat has to bang on the door to let us know how he feels about that. When I got up for good, I had to go in to work for a little while. We deployed our new portal release today, and I was the test lead, so I had to round up the group and document and sign off on the production validation tests. This only took an hour or so.

Then Bernie and I tackled the big project - the attic. We bought a bunch of storage containers earlier in the week, since Target had a great sale price on them, and we condensed and reorganized our boxes, and we now have a metric ton of cardboard to get rid of, but we can walk in the attic again. I'm wiped out.

By the way, Bernie made chicken pot pie for dinner (and she already ate some of hers for lunch). Looks good, doesn't it?

ISP Change

Last week, i decided to get a divorce from Time Warner. In the past, I resolved never to get cablevision from them ever again, and only allowed them to provide me with broadband internet. Well, last month, they raised their already-higher-than-everyone-else rate from $44.95 a month to $46.95 a month, and put a note in the bill "warning" me that the rate was going up - in the bill with the rate increase in it! Thanks for the warning, jerks!

So I called up Windstream and found that I can get their Greenstreak broadband for $34.95 a month at 3mbps, which is technically slower than TW, but because TW is a shared connection, it turns out to be effectively the same speed. They can also bundle my Dish Network subscription and save me more money, but I have to be a Windstream customer for 6 months before they can take over my relationship with Dish. They also will be doubling that speed to 6mbps in February without raising the rate. After consulting Bernie, we signed up.

OK, so the installer shows up. I don't have a phone line connected to the house at all, because we use VoIP over the internet. The guy says he's only going to connect us to the box on the outside of the house and not do anything inside. Bernie calls me and she hands the phone to him and I tell him to make it work inside or the deal's off. I come home and he's done a crappy, messy wiring job inside my wiring cabinet to one phone jack in the house - upstairs. Strike one on Windstream. I'm ticked off, but I get out my wire tools and cut out his work and re-do it so that I now have a jack inside the wiring closet that I can plug the DSL modem into.

I have a letter in the mail from Windstream telling me that there is a sticker on the back of the letter with my ID and password, which is necessary in order to enable the DSL modem. I turn the letter over - no sticker. Strike Two.

So I call technical support. They ask me for all sorts of ID over the phone, then tell me they have no record of me at all. I'll have to call the business office in the morning to straighten it out. Strike Three.

Despite striking out, I decide to give them one more chance. The business office gets it straightened out, gives me my ID and password, and last night, I get it all working. The speed difference isn't noticeable. I guess we'll call Time Warner tomorrow and tell them to take a hike. That should be pleasant.

My readers should be used to something simple like this becoming a total train wreck by now.

My New Ride

You are looking at my new truck. The color is "Dark Cherry Metallic". Aside from the intoxicating new car smell, the new features include the Sync audio system that hooks up to your MP3 player via USB and lets you do voice commands like the "Play artist Michael Bolton" gag on the commercials.

(Bernie tried that one on me this morning and I don't have any Michael Bolton on my MP3 player. Ha!)

It also will bluetooth to your cell phone and let you make or receive calls using the voice commands. Heck, it will even READ your text messages to you! We'll be taking a road trip to Raleigh soon, and I think I'm going to have to drive the truck rather than Bernie's car, gas mileage be damned!

I've probably seen the end of the new toys for a long time now, because I've had too many lately. But I'm now set for my car for the next 3 years. Hopefully, when that time comes again, they'll have some better, more fuel-efficient engines in small trucks.

Object of My Obsession

In case you've been wondering why I haven't been blogging since Christmas:

This is a Nokia N800 Internet Tablet. This was my primary Christmas gift this year, and I've been spending all my spare time playing with it since then.

Basically, this is a handheld PC with wi-fi and bluetooth. It runs on a flavor of Linux, and there are lots of free applications out there that can be downloaded and installed. I'm just beginning to unlock this thing's potential.

Web browsing (fully-functional, not handicapped like cell phones' browsers)
VoIP telephone calls (it can use my account for Broadvoice!)
Instant messaging
Media player (it's a fantastic music and video player)
Streaming content from the internet (YouTube, Internet radio)
GPS Navigation (I ordered a bluetooth GPS antenna)
Games (they ported the original Doom release for it already)
PDA
FM Radio

Anyway, that's what I've been doing this week. I can even blog from it!

It's Christmas in Heaven...

(title of post is from Monty Python's Meaning of Life)
Merry Christmas, everyone!

The tacos have been eaten, the yule log cake devoured, and we're killing time before going to midnight mass. Santa's on his way to deliver lots of coal to put in Bernie's stocking.

By the way, Bernie finally got the Christmas spirit tonight. I think the nephews helped her out.

Update on Trouble

I took Trouble back to the vet today for his follow-up appointment.

Good news! He's gained a half-pound in two weeks. His T4 levels are actually now too low, so the doctor cut him back to 1/2 a tablet of his medicine. I predict this will make him a little friskier, since he's been sleeping too much since he started the medicine.

We've been cleared to go for the radioactive iodine treatment whenever it is convenient. I had the vet take a chest x-ray of the cat, which the T4Paws place may or may not require. Since I paid $160 for the thing, they're going to look at it whether they want to or not. The vet says that Trouble looks healthy both outside and in. An interesting note - the xray shows a bit of wire around his right front legbone left over from his broken bone surgery 13 years ago.

We expect to take him in for his radiation sometime in January. I will let you all know what super-powers he ends up with once he figures out how to use them.

Do Cats Get 24-hour Flu?

Trouble has been doing a whole lot better since he started his medicine. His appetite is back, his energy level is back up, etc. But on Saturday, he didn't leave his kitty bed except to go to the bathroom twice in rapid succession, both times insisting on going outdoors rather than using the litter box. He didn't eat all day, either. In the evening, I hand-fed him some kitty treats, and he ate four of them, but refused the fifth. About 15 minutes later he vomited them up.

This morning, he's awake and starving and begged to be fed and has eaten 3/4 of a small can of wet food. He seems to be back to normal.

Do cats get 24-hour flu?

Midweek frustrations

The builder of our home is finally getting around to fixing the stuff from our 1-year warranty punch list after 18 months.

Background information:
I've spent the summer and fall on the phone with their customer service guy getting things done one at a time, and it takes 6 calls by me, 4 promises to call back by him which just doesn't happen, and two weeks to get any one particular thing done, after which I congratulate myself on my success, then don't hear from the guy again until I call again for the next issue.

Well, my biggest issue with the house is the columns on the front are twisting and buckling to the point that the hardyplank cladding is breaking and I'm concerned about the structural stability. I have two that I've been complaining about since the 2nd month after we moved in. After my last phone call to the service guy in September, he promised me they'd ordered new columns and as soon as they arrived they'd replace them. So when December arrived with no contact, I called again. The builder had changed their number. I got the new one and called. Press 3 for service. I press. Voice mail. I leave a voice mail inquiring about when my columns would be replaced.

A week later, on Monday, I call again. Voice mail. I leave a message.

Tuesday, I call again. I leave a message. Same thing on Wednesday. And Thursday.

On Friday, I leave a message again stating that I would be calling every day, 3 times a day until someone returned my call. Then I got the idea to press 0. Bingo - got a receptionist. I told her that I wanted to speak to the service guy and he hadn't returned one of my 6 calls this week. Of course, the answer is that he left at the end of September and that one of the owners is handling service.

I need to state for the record that the owners of the company all live in my neighborhood, and their elderly parents are my next-door neighbors.

The receptionist tells me she'll call his cell phone and get him to call me.
Miracle of miracles, he does. He tells me that he doesn't have any record of my column issues and he'll get back to me on Monday after he can read my file to make sure I'm entitled to have them replaced. I keep my cool, since I know he and I both have records showing that I complained well within the time limit.

Monday rolls around. No call. This is expected.
Tuesday...nothing.
Wednesday. I tell Bernie that if I don't hear from him by lunch, I'm going to call a lawyer. I go to lunch and come back and I have a voice mail. Someone will be coming to my house to fix the columns on Monday. Most people would think they've won at this point. Not me. I know there's more to this story to come.

Monday. I know for a fact that no one is showing up on this day, and no one does. No call, either.
Tuesday. The guy shows up. Bernie texts me a running commentary of what's going on. The guy has only been authorized to "fix" one column. The one with the broken cladding. He's fixing it by shaving the bent part down and putting on new cladding. I ask him about the broken facia board above the column that the movement has broken. He looks at the jagged break and tells me that that's a seam between two boards and he'll just caulk it. I call BS. He shrugs and says he has to do what his boss tells him. I ask about the twisting column on the end. Boss didn't tell him anything about that. I tell him that I'm not happy. He says if I call the boss, he'll tell him that it needs fixing and get permission to fix it. So I do. Voice mail. The guy puts the one column back together and leaves.

Tuesday. Do you think anyone shows up? Of course not. Do I get a call? Nope.

Wednesday. Hey, that's today! What do you think happened? Nothing, that's what.

So I decide to check my warranty documentation to see what my options are. There isn't any in the closing packet. I call my neighbors and ask them if they got a warranty declaration when they closed. Nope. This is great. I get a bright idea. I have the folder with the plans and options, etc from when we signed the contract, and the sales guy's cell phone number is in there. He doesn't work there anymore, but maybe he knows how I can get a copy of the warranty declaration.

Amazing. He still has the same cell phone number. He tells me it's a standard warranty from a company called 2-10 and if I google them, I can probably get the terms and conditions online. So I google them. I find a phone number for 2-10! I call them and they actually look me up by my address and find my record and they'll send me a reprint of the document I never got.

That's where I stand today. A half-finished repair job, and my legal options are on the way. I've been given to understand that there is a grievance form in the packet that's on it's way so that I can escalate issues to the 2-10 company. I can't wait.

Weekend Update

First, the most important news - the cat is much better. The medicine must be doing its job. On Thursday night, he jumped into the laundry basket and wanted to play. On Friday, we noticed his appetite and attitude improving and he didn't throw up at all except when I let him outside and he ate some grass, and today, he ate as much for breakfast as he did all day on Friday, and he's been eating like a horse all day. We expect to get him irradiated after New Year's, and hopefully, that will be the end of this crisis.

We had a fun time on Friday night at my department's Christmas party, and Bernie put a big dent in the stuffed mushrooms (she says since I hate mushrooms, she needs to get her quota in whenever they are available.) Continuing the pleasantness of the weekend, Bernie and I went over to Brian and Sophie's on Saturday evening and we played Ticket to Ride. I don't remember who won, but all 4 of us were within 40 points of each other. Little Elise was her happy, funny self, and we all made a fuss over Sophie, who is expecting again in the spring.

On Sunday, we visited the bamboo farm again, then stopped by my parents' place to visit since they've been out of town for a week. Then we went home and I finished the bamboo bench project (photo above). Lesson learned: Forget the tinkertoy approach - the way to do it is with carriage bolts, washers, and nuts. I'll probably be shoring up the frame using this method, but all in all, the bench is pretty stable and sturdy. It even holds me in the middle:

After cleanup and a quick shower, we met the family at my sister's house and visited with the nephews.

This has been a pretty good weekend. Next weekend holds three Christmas parties on three different nights, so we'll be very busy.

Trouble with trouble

I guess Bernie's already scooped me on her blog, but I'm going to tell it anyway.

My cat, Trouble, has been losing weight and throwing up a lot lately. He was once 17 lbs about 4 years ago, and he lost weight when I first moved to Charlotte to a normal 12 lbs. Today, at the vet, he was 7.8 lbs. The vet took a lot of tests and confirmed it was hyperthyroidism. This means his metabolism has been in high gear, and therefore the weight loss.

For a lot of reasons, the best solution presented to me was to get him a radioactive iodine treatment, which will kill off the tumor cells in his thyroid glands and leave behind the healthy tissue, which should then regenerate. One shot, two days of quarantine, and boom, it's all done. We'd have to keep him away from small children and pregnant women for 3 months afterwards, is all. We already dispose of his litter in a manner appropriate for bio-hazardous waste, so there's not much else to change in our habits.

The drawback is that this will cost us about $900. Added to the $330 from today's tests. Added to the $60 for the next test in two weeks.

Put that together with the $700 that his broken leg cost me back in 1994, and this is the most expensive cat I've ever had. I guess if you live 14 years, things like this are bound to happen every now and then. He's expected to live into his twenties, by the way, so we really can't just have him take the medicine for the rest of his life, which would pretty much guarantee kidney failure after 2 years.

Trouble kept me sane for many years when I lived alone and hated my job and my life. I owe him the chance for some happy golden years.

Visiting Oz

No, I'm not going to New Zealand.

Sci-Fi channel is airing their new 6 hour movie re-imagination of the Wizard of Oz, called Tin Man. As you might guess, it is a science fiction version where Dorothy Gale (D.G.) instead of being transported to a fairyland is taken to a whole new dimension.

To get in the mood for this occasion, tonight I watched the movie sequel to The Wizard of Oz, called Return to Oz. This movie was made in 1985 by Disney, and is based on the next two books of the series by L. Frank Baum.

As a boy, I was a great fan of the books. I own two of them and their battered covers show how much I liked to read and re-read them over the years. I nearly dropped a hundred bucks on acquiring the complete set at the flea market last year, but I decided to pass on the opportunity at the last second. I have regrets for that.

Anyway, Return to Oz is much truer to the books than it is to the MGM movie, though it does match up well with what was seen in the original. The ruby slippers are still ruby slippers, rather than the silver shoes from the books, for example. However, the tone is a bit darker, Dorothy is the correct age (9 years old rather than 16), and the backstory of Oz that Dorothy learns in the book version but not in the movie version is restored and discussed on-screen.

I was stunned and overjoyed to see that the set design and character design in Return to Oz was taken exactly from the illustrations in the books, which are iconic. The tin man has a tin head, skinny metal arms, etc. The scarecrow's head is a sack of bran. The designs for Jack Pumpkinhead and Tik-Tok are perfect.

The story is quite well done, and the actress who plays Dorothy (Fairuza Balk - have you heard of her? She was in The Craft) was fantastic. She even mimicked a lot of the speech mannerisms that Judy Garland used. She really owned the role. The special effects were ahead of their time for 1985. Mostly claymation, but the Nome King's animation was just incredible.

Unfortunately, this movie didn't do well when it was released, and most people don't even know of its existence. Critics panned it because of its darker tone, which is appropriate to the tone of the books, as MGM took some liberties with Oz in their screen version, making it much more of a fairyland, while Baum made sure his readers knew that Oz was a dangerous place with dangerous people and creatures in it (even though no one dies in Oz). Return to Oz is not a musical, and it had a PG rating.

I really liked this movie (especially as a fan of the books) and it's a shame that more people haven't seen it.

Here's some pics:

Look closely at the design of the scarecrow, tin woodsman, and cowardly lion.









Compare with this illustration










Jack Pumpkinhead










Tik Tok






Fairuza Balk as Dorothy - don't recognize her?









Try this one. Recognize her now? The goth witch from The Craft.

The Bamboo Bench - A Project

Bernie and I discovered a month or so ago that there is a bamboo farm in Mint Hill - just up the road from us. I called the guy and he said to come over and he'd show us all the different varieties he owns. We had in mind buying some bamboo for various crafts and projects. Bernie wants to make some wind chimes and I was thinking of making the arbor she's always wanted. It would go well with our rock fountain and garden area in the back yard.

Well, lo and behold, this farm is acres and acres of 60 foot tall bamboo plants! The owner cuts down 4 plants for us and cuts them into 8 foot lengths. This costs us $20, which is ridiculously cheap. $5 for each plant and $5 for his labor.

Once we get it home, I start trying to figure out what to make so I can learn how to build with it. The arbor is too ambitious until I get some experience working with this stuff, so I decide to build Bernie her outdoor bench. Earlier this summer, she bought a gorgeous bench off of amazon.com and then couldn't bear to let it get rained on and lose its pretty finish. So she varnished it and put it on the front porch instead. Bamboo is weather-proof, so this would be perfect as a starter project.

After some thinking, I decided to use a hole saw of various diameters and drill holes into each tube and insert tab a into slot b, then drill pilot holes and use screws to keep it together.

The design is "make it up as you go along", so I made one mistake that I am having to correct by going back to the farm to get more of the large diameter bamboo to use for the seat slats. This may end up being a good thing, as it will make the seat stronger than I originally intended.

So here's the frame, all finished and assembled:

The T-giving break

I was burning out earlier this week. I really needed this four-day weekend, and I've enjoyed every minute of it so far.

Thanksgiving was great, and there was nothing particularly different about it from any other one I've experienced. We did really miss having Bernie's parents with us this year, though. Family discussions have centered on getting them back for a long visit that includes next Thanksgiving. Sounds like a great idea to me!

Friday, we decided to participate in the ritual of Black Friday, went to Staples at 6 am, and picked up a laser printer for $20 (after rebate, of course), and some cheap DVD-Rs. I napped afterwards, and when I got up, Bernie decided to nap. After she got up, the day was gone.

Today, we went to Lowe's for hardware supplies and I got to work on my new project: a bamboo bench for the garden. More on this in a later post. We went over to my parents' place for dinner and now we're chilling out. Tomorrow, we drag out the Christmas decorations.

So, you see...nothing exciting going on here. It's very rejuvenating for me, though, and I'm thankful for this nice relaxing intermission before the holiday season madness begins.

Not Much Happening on the Home Front

Sorry for the week-long gap. I really have nothing to report. I got better on Wednesday, and the back pain/stiffness worked itself out on Thursday. We're taking it easy until Turkey day, where our greatest dilemma is what dish to make for the family Thanksgiving dinner.

Crappiest weekend ever!

1. Saturday - Tar Heels lose to State, mostly due to a terrible gameplan by our coaches.
2. Sunday morning - The best way to start the day is to fall down the stairs and hurt your back.
3. 10 am - An hour after falling, the fever starts. It's the flu.
4. 11 am - We run an errand (buying bamboo for some projects) and the fever turns into chills.
5. 12 pm - Get home, put on 3 layers of clothing, get in bed, under 3 blankets and a down comforter. Taking Tylenol.
6. 1 pm - Shiver and shake and in great pain all day. Bernie comes in and informs me that the cat has escaped and is missing.
7. 4 pm - Panthers lose on a last-second breakdown. I'm semi-conscious, but can't sleep. When I close my eyes I see football plays running over and over again. Pain and fever getting worse despite doubling my dose of Tylenol. No sign of the cat. Bernie's been walking the neighborhood looking. I drag myself out of bed, put on my shoes and walk very slowly down our alley, pausing at each closed garage door, and calling the cat. 5 doors down, the cat steps out between two garages and meows at me like he's had a bad day and it's all my fault. I pick him up and take him home. This drains every bit of energy I have and I collapse into bed again.
8. 6 pm - I haven't eaten all day. Nausea prevents me from eating. I think the pain from my back (which isn't as bad as the fever-pain yet) might not be the fever.
9. 8 pm - Fever is STILL going up, despite the Tylenol. Now it's 102. The pain from the body aches is unbearable. We start thinking about Urgent Care. Bernie calls the on-call nurse at my doctor and gets advice.
10. 10pm - Chills end, now I'm unbearably hot. This is a good sign. I shuck the sweats and layers and turn on the fan and try to sleep.
11. 1 am - I wake up drenched in sweat. The sheets are soaking wet and cold. This is actually an improvement. I feel a little better. Fever is down to 99.
12. 4 am - I wake up again. Finally getting some rest. I drink a whole glass of water. Now that the fever's under control, I can tell that the fall has messed up my back. If I turn over, I get little bolts of pain that make me feel nauseous.
13. 7 am - Get up, call in sick.

So here I am, victim of one of the worst weekends possible. I demand a do-over.

Glorious All-Hallows Eve

For once, life is good. I have a cute wife who missed out on a whole childhood full of halloweens, and wants to start making up for lost time.


And here's the leg in the smoker, as I promised earlier.

Haunted Cubicle

There's a contest at work for the best Halloween decorated cubicle. Here's mine:

Unfortunately, you can't see the gargoyle on top of the storage bin. He's awesome.

NGAB!

Bernie and I have been watching "The Next Great American Band" on Friday nights. I have to say this: It's FAR superior to American Idol.

In fact, it's American Idol with talent, musicianship, intelligent judges, zero fluff and filler, and 100% less Ryan Secrest.

Of the 12 bands chosen to compete, 10 of them are actually really, really good, and I'd bet that 6 to 8 of them end up with contracts regardless of who wins. The music industry is absolutely starved for new bands, and the music-loving public is sick of no-talent no-last-name solo acts like Britney, Jessica, etc., and emo boys like James Blunt.

Voting takes place after the show airs on Fridays, and the lowest vote-getters simply aren't there the next week. No results show where we have to watch the host vamp, fill and fluff for 29 minutes to find out who lost.

Here's the lineup and what I think of them:

Cliff Wagner and the Ol’#7:
-This is a bluegrass band with a lead singer/banjo player that sounds like comedian Rodney Carrington. They're just fantastic - really tight, talented, creative and entertaining. I don't know what the market is for a bluegrass band nowadays, but they should be the first name mentioned when you hear that genre of music. Great group. Ranked #4 of of 12 in my scorebook.

The Clark Brothers:
-An all-acoustic trio of brothers that prefer Christian music with a rustic bend. They play dobro, fiddle, mandolin, guitar, and pretty much all the string instruments. No drums. First of all, their playing is off-the-charts good. Second, their singing is tight, and they are very high-energy on stage. They'll make it big whether they win or not. Just amazing. #3 of 12 in my book.

Denver and the Mile High Orchestra
-From Nashville, despite their name. This is a big, horn-laden swing group with a dynamic frontman. My personal favorites, but probably not going to win. If there's still a market for Big Bad Voodoo Daddy or Cherry Poppin' Daddies, this band will be heard from in the future. The horns are tight, the energy is high, the stage presence is hot. Really really good group. #5 of 12.

Dot Dot Dot
-An 80's Euro-band throwback. Good musicians and a good frontman. They do what they do well, but they are really more of a tribute group than a functioning band. Not very original or ground-breaking. I'd rank them 11th out of 12 in the competition.

Franklin Bridge
-I'd call them a R&B/Soul band, but they change styles faster than I can follow. Amazingly tight - they throw stops, time changes, runs, solos, style changes, etc at you and they must be telepathic to be able to do what they do. They remind me of Living Colour. The front man is a hell of a singer and a hell of a guitar player. I'd rank them #2 of 12.

The Hatch
-Four musicians living in a small apartment together with nothing to do but jam all day. They're what I'd call a pop-alternative group, much like many others on the radio today. The frontman is particularly good-looking, so they may have a future for that reason alone. I think their music is OK, but not particularly original. I'd rank them somewhere in the middle of the pack. #7 of 12.

Light of Doom
-You'd think this is a gimmick band, but they have surprised me. This is the Heavy Metal band consisting of 12 year old boys. The musicianship is insane! I totally expected them to do nothing but cover songs, but tonight they did an original song that was just fantastic. The only problem is taking them seriously. No matter how good they sound (and they sound like pros), I have a hard time doing that. Rank them #8 of 12.

The Likes of You
-This is almost a cheat. The lead singer has had a long solo career opening for big acts, but never has gotten his big break. So he cobbled together a band, rehearsed for 5 months, sent in an audition CD, and now they're in the competition. The amazing thing is that they are making really good music and almost accidentally have become a legitimate collaborative band. I'd say they're #6 of 12.

The Muggs
-A 3 man rock group from Detroit. The bass player had a stroke 3 years ago and now he plays the bass parts on the keyboard with his left hand. You'd never notice from listening. They're pretty darn good. I'd pay to see them in a bar, but I'm not so sure they could sell CDs. The lead singer is also a fantastic guitar player. Rank is #9 of 12.

Rocket
-A punk all-girl band. Unfortunately, they suck. More unfortunately, the judges keep saying nice things about them. I'd never have passed them thru auditions. All the guitars meld into one mushy mid-range cloud of dissonance, and the front-girl can't sing at all. She isn't even pretty. I've heard many, many better punk-girl bands. Last place.

Sixwire
-A country-rock group that had a record deal at one time but their CD didn't sell and they lost the deal. This could be the best group in the competition. The singing and harmonies are air-tight, the musicianship is top-notch, the original songs they've done sound like crossover hits to me. No weaknesses. This is my front-runner.

Très bien!
-Fox has really been trying to sell this group. They are a retro-sixties Beatles-type band. In all honesty, they're pretty good, but I think they are weak in versatility, meaning once they are out of their niche, they aren't legitimate contenders. #10 of 12.

Oooh Yeah I Wish It Would Rain Down...Down On Me

After being teased horrifyingly with predictions of rain in the past few weeks, we finally got something more substantial than a sprinkle here in Stallings. It's been frustrating. On three occasions, there has been over 50% chance of rain, and it's missed us by mere yards. I'm talking there's a line in the road where on one side there's puddles and runoff, and on our side, dry as a bone. I had been giving serious consideration to the idea that there's an invisible force-field above my neighborhood.

Well, today, we actually have had 3 or 4 ten-minute spans where it actually gave a somewhat manly effort to wet the ground. Not that you can tell after it quits. I believe I've mentioned the consistency of the dirt around here before. One big slurping sound and it looks like nothing happened.

At least there's one more day of rain-like possibilities left. Maybe we'll get some measurable precipitation this time. Yeah, right.

Renaissance Fair

Bernie and I went to the Carolina Renaissance Fair in Concord this morning and had a blast. We had heard of it last year, and it runs from September thru November every weekend each year. What we didn't know is that it's a permanent attraction. The buildings and stages are real, not tents. It's almost like Busch Gardens, except there aren't any rollercoasters and high-tech rides. It's been here for 14 years and gets bigger every year.

Lots of people in garb, 6 stages with rotating acts, probably a mile of walking to get from entrance to end, lots of food, lots of interesting wares, and a real jousting show 4 times a day. There are also a bunch of medieval characters walking or sitting around, some of them shouting insults at passersby.

The jousts are a continuing story, apparently. We went to the first one of the day and three knights compete to become the new general of the queen's armies. One is a bad guy, one is a crazy guy who hears voices, and one is the heroic guy. The bad guy won by cheating, and the good guy lost by claiming that one of his faults wasn't counted properly. At the end, the queen declared that the contest wasn't over an that they would compete further at the next show. From what I understand, the next show will have the bad guy and the good guy duel, and the last show of the day is apparently a joust "to the death".

I was surprised to see that they sell beer on the premises, and even have ale brewed on site for sale. The wares for sale are real, not cheap toys. The food was really good, consisting of turkey legs (of course), soup in bread bowls, sausages on sticks, etc., and the prices were quite reasonable, especially compared to the state fair.

Chris, Elizabeth, this is something we should all go to together next year. Athena will love it.

Addendum: I nearly forgot to mention there are games of skill - throwing knives, throwing stars, throwing axes, shooting arrows, crossbow bolts, etc. Real weaponry!

Check This Out

Click on the picture above and ask:
Does the dancer spin clockwise or counter-clockwise for you?



For me, it's random, and I can make it switch if I try hard enough. Making the switch is pretty hard, though, no matter which direction she's currently spinning.

I guess that makes me neither right- nor left-brain dominant.

Sigh. Always undefinable. That's me, all right.

Followup

Rednecks will be rednecks.

Severed Leg Dispute to be Aired on Judge Mathis

In other news, I've bought a fake severed leg from the joke store and I'm going to be displaying it in my smoker for halloween.