Crappiest weekend ever!

1. Saturday - Tar Heels lose to State, mostly due to a terrible gameplan by our coaches.
2. Sunday morning - The best way to start the day is to fall down the stairs and hurt your back.
3. 10 am - An hour after falling, the fever starts. It's the flu.
4. 11 am - We run an errand (buying bamboo for some projects) and the fever turns into chills.
5. 12 pm - Get home, put on 3 layers of clothing, get in bed, under 3 blankets and a down comforter. Taking Tylenol.
6. 1 pm - Shiver and shake and in great pain all day. Bernie comes in and informs me that the cat has escaped and is missing.
7. 4 pm - Panthers lose on a last-second breakdown. I'm semi-conscious, but can't sleep. When I close my eyes I see football plays running over and over again. Pain and fever getting worse despite doubling my dose of Tylenol. No sign of the cat. Bernie's been walking the neighborhood looking. I drag myself out of bed, put on my shoes and walk very slowly down our alley, pausing at each closed garage door, and calling the cat. 5 doors down, the cat steps out between two garages and meows at me like he's had a bad day and it's all my fault. I pick him up and take him home. This drains every bit of energy I have and I collapse into bed again.
8. 6 pm - I haven't eaten all day. Nausea prevents me from eating. I think the pain from my back (which isn't as bad as the fever-pain yet) might not be the fever.
9. 8 pm - Fever is STILL going up, despite the Tylenol. Now it's 102. The pain from the body aches is unbearable. We start thinking about Urgent Care. Bernie calls the on-call nurse at my doctor and gets advice.
10. 10pm - Chills end, now I'm unbearably hot. This is a good sign. I shuck the sweats and layers and turn on the fan and try to sleep.
11. 1 am - I wake up drenched in sweat. The sheets are soaking wet and cold. This is actually an improvement. I feel a little better. Fever is down to 99.
12. 4 am - I wake up again. Finally getting some rest. I drink a whole glass of water. Now that the fever's under control, I can tell that the fall has messed up my back. If I turn over, I get little bolts of pain that make me feel nauseous.
13. 7 am - Get up, call in sick.

So here I am, victim of one of the worst weekends possible. I demand a do-over.