Tuesday Night Fever

Tonight's Idol was Barry Gibb, who sounds a lot like Sean Connery when he talks. (It's the "swish-swash-swish-swash" sound he makes.) Anyway, since I was born in 1969, I grew up with the BeeGees, and their songs are more part of my subconscious than my conscious mind, so I may not remember the titles or words, but I know the songs. I'll try to make my analysis make sense despite that.

Tonight, they each sang two songs from the Gibb family catalog. I'm not going to even mention individual judges comments for each song because between the time crunch and their normal incoherence, they were more irrelevant than ever. Suffice it to say that none of the judges liked anything they heard tonight.

First up, Melinda. She sang "Love You Inside and Out". She had the range of the song, and interpreted it really well. I felt this was something she could go into a studio and record today. I could close my eyes and imagine this was on the radio. All three judges said it wasn't exciting enough. Maybe they don't understand disco. Disco isn't exciting. It's simply a good beat and rock steady from beginning to end. Philistines.

Second was Blake, doing "You Should Be Dancing". This wasn't a great night for Blake. He tried to do the falsetto and was consistently flat-pitched. He did some beat-boxing at the end of the choruses that wasn't very impressive. He dragged the tempo and it really stunk up the place. The judges agree with me.

Third was Lakisha, wearing a black-on white outfit that looks like a Ben & Jerry's carton. Overweight women should NEVER wear something that resembles a cow, folks. She did "Staying Alive". Honestly, this really wasn't terrible. She did the warbling during the bridge really well, and the verses weren't bad. She let the backup singers do most of the high stuff and filled in during the choruses. Not great, but not bad. Judges: Hated it.

Batting cleanup today was Jordin. She sang "To Love Somebody". I don't know this song well, but Bernie does, and she loved the way Jordin sang it. I liked it as well, though I don't remember this performance much just a 1/2 hour later. The judges said it was the best so far, but weren't enthusiastic. I guess I have to agree.

The second time around, the trends continued.

Melinda did "How Can You Mend A Broken Heart". Again, this was quite recordable and would work as a single on the radio today. She nails the last note and makes the crowd give her an ovation. Judges are still only lukewarm. Judge Judy is in the audience and I think they should sign her up, because Moe, Larry, and Curly aren't doing much to earn their paychecks tonight.

Blake needs to improve on the second song, and he does, a bit, with "This Is Where I Came In". I can understand why he chose this one. It's a blank page for improvisation, since no one knows it. Unfortunately, it comes out pretty bland and while he spares us the falsetto this time, he beat-boxes again when it isn't needed and it comes off as pretty amateur. He's also flat again. Not good.

Lakisha comes out in a better looking dress. Black sides with kelly green midstripe. The only fashion mistake she makes (and she does it consistently) is to go with a high waistline. She performs "Run To Me". Unfortunately, this song exposes her weakness - she can't sing soft and sweet at all. She tries, and her voice just won't do it. It completely fails her on the last note of the song, which is akin to losing your bathing suit in the pool. There's no hiding it and no way to save face after it happens. Also not good.

Jordin comes out and tries to hit the home run of the night with "Woman In Love". She almost succeeds. She's a bit off-pitch in the beginning and alllllllllmost off pitch on the high notes. She bends those notes up into where they ought to be, but you can tell she's having to work at it. I'm starting to wonder if voices are beginning to show the strain of a long season and having to perform twice in one night. This was still my favorite of the nght, however. I want her to do this one in the finals and nail it.

So, after double the value tonight, I put them in this order

1. Melinda
1. Jordin
3. Blake
3. Lakisha

Either Blake or Lakisha is taking the gas pipe this week. It all depends on if Blake gets the white male vote from Phil and Chris's departures last week, or if those votes go elsewhere.