Diet Starts Two Days Early

Well, it looks like I'm starting my liquid diet two days early, thanks to Mr. Stomach Flu. Dad had it last week and got better right before Thanksgiving, so I think I have to blame it on him.

Skip the next paragraph if you don't want the gory details.

My stomach, which was already full because I got no warning whatsoever of getting sick, started filling up with gas and blew up to the size of a basketball before I mercifully got nauseated enough to throw up. That was not pleasant at all, but I completely emptied my stomach and scared the dickens out of Bernie because when I vomit, it sounds like a violent murder. I felt better for about 10 minutes, then the bloating started again. The rest of the night was spent waking up every hour to run to the toilet or to sit up so I could belch up the gas. I made sure I took a couple of sips of water each time so I wouldn't get dehydrated.

Then the fever started and every muscle in my body is throbbing and trying to cramp up. I've taken two Alleve this morning and it's starting to kick in, so I only feel moderately sick at the moment.

I guess I should be thankful, because Dad couldn't manage to vomit for three days and suffered a lot, while I got it over with in a couple of hours.

However, Bernie is now complaining of being nauseated - and that's not fair at all.

Anyhow, that's just more weight loss for me prior to surgery, I guess.

A Funny Story

I showed the Lenovo computer online to Bernie and it has two features that were interesting.

First, it has an anti-bacterial keyboard. Cool, huh?
Second, it has a big button on the keyboard that gives you one-click access to anti-virus and recovery features.

Bernie looked at that and asked me how the keyboard cleans off bacteria when you press the button.

So I laughed and said it must release a mist of antibacterial solution when you press it.

She figured it out a second later and whacked me on the shoulder while I was laughing uncontrollably.

Black Friday

I love Black Friday. Usually, I spend Thanksgiving night making a game plan and get up early on Friday and try to get as many things on my list as I can, spending money like it was water.

This year...not so much.

It's sad, but there wasn't a darn thing I could say was a "must-have" item in any of the two-inch-thick stack of ads in the newspaper yesterday. I briefly debated going out and getting a new TV, but I really can't justify the expense, nor can I say that the deals out there were all that good.

Plus, I'm getting a reputation as the guy who buys a new TV every year. Can't have that.

I made a list and checked it twice and there was nothing worth my time and effort this year.

Anyway, I know that Bernie needs a new computer. She's been using my 5 year old hand-me-down PC ever since we got married, and while it's still working fine, it's a little slow for her.

So I looked in the ads and no one has a great deal on a desktop PC this year! The best one I could find was Office Depot had a HP Dual-core system for $399, and that's just not cheap enough to justify getting up at 4 am.

I ended up going online and finding a Lenovo IdeaCentre with slightly better specs for $437 and free shipping, so Bernie's getting her new computer for Christmas after all. I think we'll keep the old one around for her Dad to use when he comes to visit sometime next year.

Free baking tip

Take it from me, this made a world of difference, sort of like when the guy who invented the wheel showed it off to his friends.

Baking tip:
When rolling out dough, roll between two pieces of plastic wrap.

That one tip changed my world tonight. Wow. No more flouring the countertop and tearing the dough on the rolling pin. Plastic wrap. Like, wow. Whoda thunk it?

Char Siew is the word of the day

Since the Tar Heels, Panthers, and my fantasy football team have all decided to go into the tank this weekend. I needed a cheer-up. So, in the name of cleaning out the freezer, I turned all the pork into Char Siew, which is Chinese BBQ pork, and one of my favorite things in Malaysia.

Especially Seremban Siew Paus, which are flaky buns filled with minced Char Siew pork. Ahhh...Malaysia. I miss it so.

Nearing the beginning

As of today, I have 10 days left in which I can eat 'normally'. Meaning, like I always have eaten.

As of Nov 30, I am on a liquid, high-protein diet. With raw veggies as my only solids.
This will continue for two weeks, when I check into the hospital for my gastric bypass surgery.

Following surgery, I will be ingesting only ice chips for two days, followed by clear liquids for a week (including soluble protein powder, 70g a day), followed by thicker liquids for another week or two. Then I get to eat pureed foods only, 1/4 cup each meal (if I can handle that much, which most people don't) for a few more weeks, following which I can have soft foods in the same amounts for about a month. After that, I can start working in foods that require a little bit of chewing, but the 1/4 cup quantities will be all that I will be able to fit into my stomach for the better part of a year.

The upshot of this is that by the time I work up to eating semi-normal foods in 1/2 cup sized meals, I should have lost approximately 120 pounds of excess weight.

Thanksgiving dinner will be, almost literally, my last supper.

I consider this to be a fitting end to a lifetime of unhealthy habits and the beginning of a new lifetime of new rules.

Say goodbye to the fat guy while he's here, everyone!

Removing some Blogs from my list

I hate Facebook. I really do.

I once had friends that kept blogs. Since I moved from Raleigh, this was my only way to really keep up with how they were doing, what they were thinking, etc.

When they all joined facebook, I realized that this would be the end eventually, and, unfortunately, it's come true. Now, instead of being able to read about the important things that happen to them in life, or getting their true feelings on current events, I get a one-sentence feed of their grocery trips, moods, what they had for lunch, and generally very little of interest.

Unfortunately, this has also stunted my interest in posting on my blog, and thus, you see fewer posts from me.

I'm pledging to reverse that trend and try to post more often and even when I have little to actually say, I'm going to try to be creative and get on with my story.

In the meantime, I'm going to remove the 'dead' blogs from my blogroll. With much sadness and regret. I'm afraid the popularity of facebook and twitter spell the end of the blog.

I knew it all along, of course

Cherokee

Bernie and I discovered on Monday that we had a football-free weekend, so we sort of looked at each other and said "Let's go to Cherokee and gamble!" So I got us a cheap hotel room for Saturday night and we drove up there. Turns out there was a hot-rod show going on so we got some unexpected entertainment looking at all the old cars. We played lots of slots, lost a little money, and had a good time.

We're just getting home now after a long drive. Funny how the drive home seems 10x longer than the drive up there.

PS: We got gas for $2.15 a gallon in South Carolina on the way home.