Walked Right Into A Trap

I had an appointment for a EGD yesterday - something I had been told would only take an hour or so. When the appointment nurse tells you that it'll only take an hour or so, you generally start to think that you'll be able to walk in, walk out, and go back to work, right?

Wrong.

Okay, an EGD is an upper gastrointestinal scan. This means they put a tiny little camera down your throat and take movies of your espohagus, stomach, and maybe even a little further down. Wikipedia says that it usually involves them numbing your throat, ramming the little wire down, reeling it back in, and then it's over.

Armed with this information, I of course felt that the pre-printed brochure they sent me in the mail that said "You will be sedated. Bring a family member with you to drive you home" was probably an exaggeration, or a worst-case scenario, or maybe it was for people that were having some other, more unpleasant procedure being done to them.

Of course you know where this is heading. The name of this blog is a dead giveaway.

So, having fasted since midnight, I had a 1pm appointment. This is already not fair. I get checked in and they tell me to put on the little hospital johnny gown. Uh-oh. At least I got to keep my shorts on. At this point, I know my assumptions were dead wrong, and I get on the phone to get Bernie to come so she can drive me home.

Surely enough, they wheel me into a little operating room, shoot me full of knockout juice, and the next thing I remember, I'm sitting up and a nurse is handing me a Coke with a straw. There's no rum in the Coke, but I definitely feel like I'm two drinks past tipsy. I remember them telling me to go home and sleep it off, but that's about all I remember from my appointment.

When my head clears, Bernie shows me the little printout with the pictures of the insides of my digestive tract. It's empty, and having been starved all day, I'm just lucid enough to demand she take me to the nearest Chinese buffet.

That was my Thursday. How was yours?