Sometimes, I get a brainwave with a nice piece of philosophy.
Ever wonder why people get depressed when they are in college? It's the sudden realization that a gap is opening between the way you want your life to be, and how it really is - and that the gap is getting bigger every day.
You don't realize it until this point in your life because up until then, you don't have the freedom to really steer your life off course. Suddenly, the road you are on has no lane markers and very little signage, and you don't have a map. You can either decide to explore your new horizons and end up off course, or you can lock the steering wheel straight ahead, get where you're going, and miss out on all the fun in the process. As we get older, we learn to navigate better (or get used to being lost).
***
I haven't given a work update in a while. My new job is still fun and interesting. I don't dread getting up in the morning any more. The days fly by quite quickly now, and I think I'm bringing a lot to the team.
Every day I realize how bad my previous job was, with the CEO slinking around looking for people to criticize, an absentee boss, total jerks for co-workers, etc etc. I work with genuinely nice people now, and I don't fear for my job every day like I used to. I think for the last 5 years, I have lived in constant fear of losing my job (at IBM, at Arcatech, and at my previous employer). Not any more. And without that constant fear, I can be myself and do what I do best - be creative and think outside the box.
I've got love, I've got financial security, I've got ambition. Now I just need to do something about my fat body, and life will be perfect.
(sound of frantic knocking on wood)
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Stream of Consciousness
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6 comments:
Don't let depression get to you, hon. 3 more days and we'll bring some chaos and noise and no-peace back into your life :)
That is so so true!
I think it also has a lot to do with the fact that as a teenager you can blame the fact that your life is "sucky" on your damn oppressive parents...and then, when you get to college, find freedom and your life is still in the crapper and you keep making all the bad choices, you realize it wasn't THEM, it's YOU.
At least, that is what happened to me sophomore year of college. I realized, hey, I kind of suck at making good choices, woe woe is me.
Then I grew up, a lot.
I didn't make any BETTER choices, per se, but I coped better with my incompetence. :)
Here, here, Jessey!
Or is that Hear, Hear?!
I could look that up, but that would be a good choice, and I also suck at making those. Or else I'm too lazy. Or a little of both, perhaps.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... but it sure leaves a scar.
Glad to hear that the job is going well. It's hard to believe but if you truely enjoy your job you'll find that the days, weeks, etc. fly by. And you'll have that self assuring feeling of accomplishment at the end of the day.
Damn you Elizabeth...you're going to make me (and my crazy, psychotic inner grammar demon) look that up....aren't you!?!?
Here.
I feel so much better.
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